Although most of these ‘silent rules’ came up first as beliefs, it however gradually crept into rules guiding lots of religious faithfuls who want to stick to the ‘rules of the house’. However, they are myths and Christians need to stop believing them.
Here are 5 myths Christians should stop believing about dating, according to truelovedates.com:
1. If you’re too picky you’ll never get married: It is not unusual to hear people close to you, your parents, even people you hold in high esteem spiritually to tell you not to be too choosy when considering marriage. For the women, they get to hear ‘women old fast’, so you have to marry on time without trying to be choosy.
Since when is taking the time to make the biggest decision you will ever make in your life considered picky? Marriage is a decision is you live with for the rest of your life, hence the need to be double sure before hopping into the train. Do not be deceived into rushing into dating or having a relationship with any man/woman you know in your heart of hearts that is not perfect for you in your own eyes; do not even allow the ‘God-ordained soulmate’ syndrome make you jump into it without being perfectly sure he or she is who you want.
2. You should always, ever, only date to marry: This second myth has made lots of young people to stay in wrong abusive relationships. Because they do not to be seen as wayward and they do not want to fail their parents, spiritual fathers and many onlookers, they stay into this relationships. This even lead unlucky ones into marriages that need to be patched daily without peace of mind.
Most Christians believe it is only when you are ready to marry that you should date or go into a relationship. This assertion came into being when it was noticed that lots of young people get involved in unspeakable sexual escapades. To avoid this, older people (and religious bodies) think relationship is only meant for people who are ready for marriage. However, trying relationships before the set time helps open the eye of every youth to so many things which cannot be gotten by merely hooking up with one guy hoping to get married to him without having the pros and cons of what a man/woman might be expecting. A failed relationship simply means another attempt to get better.
3. All the “good ones” are already taken: Some people fall on the totally opposite end of being “too picky”. People tend to end up with someone who they believe they deserve-and sadly, for some people, their view of themselves causes them to think they deserve very little. Change your beliefs about yourself–and then wait for the best.
4. Getting into a dating relationship will “ruin” your friendship: This is a phrase that has been around for a while. Here are some thoughts about this phrase: You’re supposed to marry your best friend. Someone you connect with deeply on an emotional, spiritual, social and physical level. A friend who you can laugh with, talk to til 4am, and cry with, but also have the freedom to do absolutely nothing with. If you have that with someone of the opposite sex, maybe the friendship is the first step of something bigger.
That’s the best case scenario. Worst case scenario, a friendship doesn’t ever blossom into the stage of romantic feelings and the friendship changes. So, like it or not, your friendships with the opposite sex will always change, either now, or later when you meet your mate. The deep friendship you have with your spouse should never be shared with someone else. If your friendship changes now…it’s less you have to deal with later.
5. Marriage will solve your dating problems: A lot of people think the issues and arguments that keep tripping them up in dating will magically disappear when they are married. But for some reason this rule is never applied to other things in life. Things are what they are, and we expect them to stay that way. “It is what it is” has never been more accurate than it is in the world of dating. Lots of married couples in marriage counseling are there because of habits which have been prevalent in their dating years that they chose to ignore
Fast forward 5, 10, 15 years and these things are magnified more than ever. Marriage is the pressure cooker that brings them to the surface. Don’t rush marriage as the resolution, but seek to find the solutions in your dating relationship- if a solution is to be found, it will be there. Because at the end of the day, “it is what it is”. So make sure it’s really, really good. Dating is an incredible stage to get to know yourself better and to experience relationships with others in hopes of finding true love. Don’t let these crazy myths hold you back, but strive to achieve a healthy perspective. Trust God first and then trust what He’s placed in your heart. The truth will be right around the corner.