Of the many ills in the society, sexual abuse on women seems to be widespread. Sexual abuse entails the forcing of undesired sexual behavior by one person upon another.
Activities like unwanted touching or kissing, unwanted rough or sexual activity, rape or attempted rape, sexual contact with someone who couldn’t give a clear or concise ‘yes’ or ‘no’ as a result of being drunk, drugged, or unconscious and repeatedly pressuring someone to have$ex or perform sexual acts all constitute sexual abuse.
Lots of women have been sexually violated when they were younger and have carried this hurt and pain into adulthood. While some talk about it, others are too embarrassed to admit the abuse and relate their experiences to other people. They go through different emotional thread ranging from shock, dismay, fear, panic and finally anger. They work these into their personalities and become extremely cautious women who get edgy when interested men approach them for healthy relationships.
Below are some reasons why sexually abused women find it hard to love:
Dealing With Trust
One of the elements of love is trust. To be able to love, these women have to give in to trust. Sexually abused women who are far from healing find it hard to trust their partners. They might have been sexually abused by a trusted person so it takes time for them to get out of their protective shell. Insensitive men may see them as unyielding.
Sexually abused women still find themselves going through that ordeal again. Some of them are traumatized and can’t sleep without seeing the abuser hurt them afresh. They dwell in the past and take time to understand that someone could be genuinely interested in them.
This is the starting point of the abuse. Sexually abused women may get extremely nervous when it comes to$ex as it affects their sexual health. Their partners’ touch may trigger memories and sensations of the original abuse therefore causing interference with pleasure. Men who don’t know about their past may get tired of their continued dissociation and opt out instead of helping them separate rape from $ex.
Inability to put the blame where it belongs
Sexually abused women tend to replay the abuse scene over and over. They consider the options of how things could have been done differently. And sometimes wonder if the fault was theirs or that of the rapists. They get carried away with their emotional battles and end up being bitter.
Fear of rejection after sharing
Most of the sexually abused women prefer to have non-committal relationships. They are afraid the men may view them differently after sharing the part of their sexual abuse; so most times they withdraw and avoid getting too close to the men around them.